My inner child isn’t very “inner.” I laugh at fart jokes. I laugh hard. Hard enough to fart sometimes. Then I laugh at that fart. So when I see a food with a funny name, I giggle. Many on the following list are compliments of other countries that didn’t take the time to do the math on the English meanings. Well, the joke is on them as we eat their foods with silly names, laughing all the way to the nearest Taco Bell to gorge ourselves on “Fourthmeal” Gorditas. GO USA!
# 10: Dickmann’s
Always be suspicious of chocolate from Germany. Dickmann’s, according to the manufacturer, is Germany’s #1 chocolate foam kiss. Aww… Mini Dickmann’s is just sitting there hoping you won’t notice Super Dickmann’s.
Faggots are like meatballs. They are popular in England, and are usually made from the nasty bits of pigs and sometimes cows. I ordered these in a restaurant once (The Spotted Pig in New York), and I blushed. Thank goodness the lights were dim. I’m certain they put “Faggots” on the menu to mess with patrons’ heads. They could have just as easily called them “meatballs.” What a bunch of… well, you know.
#8: Cock soup mix
Ah, the humble yet effective penis joke. Don’t worry. There are plenty more where this one came from.
Residents of Los Angeles know this Mexican bakery well. Bimbo pastries are in every gas station and convenience store in the Southland, so it’s easy to ignore after a while. But, come on! It’s a cute little white bear climbing on a sign that says “Bimbo.” That’s comedy, friends.
#6: Big Nuts
You have to admit that the nuts do look pretty big. This 4th grade giggle comes our way from Belgium. Thanks waffle people!
#5: Fart Juice
I have been led to believe that “fart” means “luck” in Polish. So then what if this drink gives you gas? Then it becomes your lucky fart juice. Take that Poland (they need to be knocked down a peg anyway).
#4: Drysack sherry
This one is mainly funny because the bottle is so fancy. I hope like hell they serve this at the next bar I go to. “Excuse me, do you have a good, dry sack?”
Dickmilch is a German dairy product similar to buttermilk or yogurt. It is also the fifth male anatomy joke on this list. Don’t worry, ladies, we have jokes about your parts too. Behold…
“Jussi” is a Finnish name, and “pussi” is a word that means something like “bag.” So, no big deal. Just don’t forget to bring the Jussipussi to our next dinner party.
#1: Spotted Dick
Admit it. You know that it would have been irresponsible for me not to put this as the #1 food-with-a-funny-name of all time. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Welsh municipality that just renamed the popular pudding “Spotted Richard” because they were tired of all the giggling.